SONG: ? YOLO Crystal Fantasy
? The Bush Doof Episode...
(SONG TRAILS OFF)
(RELAXED MUSIC)
When are we getting to the club?
We�re not going to a club, Rachel.
We�re just going on a nice relaxing Sunday drive.
-What?! -It�ll be nice and refreshing.
Rachel, I think we both need it. Let�s put on the radio.
When are we getting to the club?
WOMAN: Hey, Stav and Miki here
and you�re listening to Quadruple Jay.
MAN: Totes.
Hey, if you�re mungin� down the Hume Highway now
and wanna go to a totally cooked party,
there�s a fully sick Bush Doof...
WOMAN: Whoo! Bush Doof.
MAN: Yeah, we�re broadcasting live from The Boof
and it�s already heaps chockers
We�re so excited.
WOMAN: We�re literally super psyched.
Like, screaming right now.
(DRAWLS) Super... psyched.
Come on down and you can win a free Tame Impala shirt.
-STAV: Tame Impalaaa. -MIKI: Tame Impalaaaa.
Mmm. Yummy.
T-shirt.
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO)
-Hey, what�s that? -What�s what?
-(SCREAMS) -(TIRES SQUEAL)
(BOTH GROAN)
-Rachel, why�d you do that?! -Come on!
Let�s just stay, like, five minutes.
Oh, my God! The car, Rachel!
We�re really in trouble.
Just five minutes! Jeez!
(CREAKING)
(GASPS)
Welcome to the Doof!
I am Peleeken Mischief Maker.
And, yes, it is OK to park your car here.
Welcome! Have a dreamcatcher.
Have two, have three! Just kidding. Maybe just two.
Oh, thank you!
-(GRUNTS) -Ooh!
Positive vibes only, everybody! (CHUCKLES)
Anyhoo, I must summon our transport. Bligdp!
(PANTS)
(SCREAMS)
(SINGS) ? We�re riding on the Bush Bus
? Riding on the Bush Bus All day long, all day long. ?
This is the main area of the Bush Doof.
There�s the drum cube.
Dreamy vibes and genuinely good acoustics.
Oh, and there�s the silent disco.
Aesthetic vibes as fudge
and headed by the Blue Bush Wizard himself!
-Yes! -Sensational!
And over there, my friends. They�re my best friends!
We�re not your friends, Peleeken!
-We ---- hate you. -Go away.
You come on way too strong.
They�re just kidding around. We�re besties.
Roar! Roar! I�m a dinosaur.
Roar. (GIGGLES) Anyhoo...
Have fun. Have fun at the Bush Doof!
Love you, love you, love you! Love you!
Sarah, I just have to tell you something,
just so I can get it off my chest.
One day, I�m going to kill Peleeken Mischief Maker.
(DRAWLS) Wow, the energy from this crowd is infectious, hey?
I�m so hella pumped. People are having a sick time all �round.
Sun�s out, fun�s out.
Oh, and look at the time. You guessed it.
It�s time to give out the free Tame Impala shirt.
-(CROWD CHEERS) -Tame Impala shirt!
Tame Impalaaa.
Mine, ----! (SLURPS)
Whichever one of you legends snags this up
can come to the afterparty in Brunswick.
Huh?
(PANTS)
(GRUNTS)
I want that ---- T-shirt!
Ah!
Hey, come here, you little ----! Grrr!
Oh, no! Pwease, no!
Oh, my God, Rachel! It can talk!
Pwease! I�m just a wittle baby possum.
Oh, don�t hurt him, Rachel, please.
He ---- bit me!
Pwease, before you hurt me, just listen to my story, pwease?
Oh, come on, Rachel. He�s saying �pwease�.
(GROANS) Fine.
My story begins back in time 5,000 years ago.
The Blue Bush Wizard was trying to dominate
all possums on the land
and I made the mistake of trying to fight back.
I rallied my possum brethren around me,
but, alas, we were no match for
his epic and super-powerful magic spells.
They fell in battle. My fellow possum soldiers, that is.
I was captured and locked away in the cage
in the tree until you rescued me.
I�m a wizard!
Pwease take me home so I can see my mummy. (SOBS)
Oh, it�s alright, little buddy. You�re gonna be fine.
OK, Rachel. Let�s take him back to his nest.
I�m not taking that possum anywhere.
What? Didn�t you hear it?
It�s been locked away for 5,000 years
by the Blue Bush Wizard.
I don�t care!
-Fine. Don�t come, then. -Fine. I won�t.
-Fine! -I�m going to the silent disco.
�Bye!
(BIRDS CHIRP SOFTLY)
(FOOTSTEPS PATTER)
(WIZARD ON HEADPHONES) Oi, you!
Yes, you. Listen to me.
Listen very carefully.
Keep dancing. Don�t stop.
OK, quick backstory. I forgot my music back at my apartment.
I don�t wanna look like an idiot in front of Quadruple Jay
so just pretend like you�re dancing, alright?
Look up.
(GUN CLICKS)
Ugh... Uhh...
Good, good.
Just keep dancing
and everything will be fine.
God! I can�t do this anymore!
(GUNSHOT)
Talk about big mood.
Looks like somebody just got assassinated
by a sniper bullet on the dance floor.
Yeww! Sun�s out, guns out.
Don�t mind my friend Rachel. I think she really likes you.
She just has a tough time expressing emotions sometimes.
Oh, my God, that�s fine. Don�t even worry about it, seriously.
To be honest, the fact you put up with
such a toxic friend like Rachel
shows how much of a good person you are, Sarah.
(SIGHS) God, you�re so cool.
(WONDROUS MUSIC)
There�s my nest. Pwease put me back in. Oh, pwease.
Here you are. Home, sweet home.
(RUMBLING)
(GURGLES)
(LAUGHS) Fool!
You have unleashed the Red Bush Wizard!
Oi! Blue Bush Wizard!
Oh, for ---- sake!
Who took the ---- possum out of the cage and put it in the nest?
I�m gonna ---- get ya!
Yeah, yeah. Whatever, you ---- head!
Nah, you shouldn�t have locked me away, man. That was ---- up.
Dude, I locked you away �cause you
were using dark ancient magic, man.
You�re not supposed to be ---- around with that.
-Gonna ---- get ya! -Oh, yeah?
You and what army, ----wit?
This one.
Bindi People, rise!
-(ALL SNARL) Bindi! -Oh, ---- Bindi People.
OK, forget the dancing. Stop dancing. So here�s the deal.
I left my magic book in the same bag I left my vinyls in.
You need to pretend you�re brainwashed by my magic, right?
You need to be my army. Be my army!
Fight those Bindi People or you�re all getting sniped.
Sorry, I�m not usually this mean and bossy.
I�m just mad �cause I left all my ---- shit at home.
(BINDI PEOPLE SNARL) Bindi People! Bindi People!
We are the Bindi People!
Bindi People! Bindi People!
-We are the Bindi People! -Arrrgghh!
-(GRUNTING AND YELLING) -Looks like this is war.
Oi, thanks for releasing me and everything,
but now you�ve gotta be my minion.
Go kill that blonde chick that tried to smash me with a rock.
Kill... Rachel.
(GRUNTING)
(SCREAMING)
Arggh...! Oh!
Oi, your Bindi People are way too OP!
That�s dark magic shit!
Nah, you�re just shit.
Get ----, dickhead. I�m so sick of you, hey.
You�re the dickhead, man.
Nobody turns me into a possum.
Nobody! That�s ---- up!
Oh, calm down, idiot. Stop yelling.
Hella weird vibes up in this doof right now.
Looks like a for-real war is happening
between the Blue Bush Wizard and the Red Bush Wizard.
Sucks.
Looks like this wizard war
could wipe out civilization as we know it.
-Let�s play some Tame Impala. -Tame Impala!
(BINDI PERSON SNARLS) Bindi People!
Yeah!
(SNARLS)
Sarah! I knew you�d come to help me.
-Kill... Rachel. -What?
(GROWLS LOWLY)
Huh!
(CHOKES)
Looks like Sarah has been
straight-up brainwashed by the Red Bush Wizard
and she�s dead-ass trying to kill Rachel right now.
Oh, my God, she�s totally frothing.
We�re all frothing, mate.
(WONDROUS MUSIC)
(HORN TOOTS)
Boys! Get in the car.
It�s time for dinner.
Oh, Mum! Five more minutes!
-This is the best bit! -MUM: Just pause it.
You can�t pause it, Mum!
-It�s happening live. -We can�t pause!
I�ve got a supreme pizza
in the car and it�s getting cold.
That�s enough playing. Just get in!
-Oh, sick! Supreme? -Yep.
-Oh, sick! -OK, coming, coming!
---- yeah, supreme!
So it looks like both the Bush Wizards
just got picked up by their mum in the car in the sky.
Hit us up on the text line
if you�ve had something similar happen
to youuuuuu...
(CHOKING)
Huh! Sarah, what the ---- is wrong with you?!
I�m sorry! I was being hypnotized!
Uh, hey there, girls. I fixed your car for you.
I know you didn�t ask me to.
But I did it anyway. I�m sorry.
Peleeken, you did that just for us?
I don�t know.
When you were fighting and stuff,
I just wanted to...
I guess... I don�t know.
I just really like youse.
(STARTS ENGINE) Oh!
(PELEEKEN WEEPS QUIETLY)
(TOUCHING MUSIC)
Hey, Peleeken.
-Do you wanna get in? -Really?
-Yes, sure. -Yeah, come on.
Yay!
(SINGS) ? I like being in the car with my friends
? Rachel and Sarah
? �Cause they�re my friends, friends forever
? I love my friends, Rachel and Sarah
? We�ve had so many adventures together
? Yeah, yeah, yeah
? I love you, Rachel and Sarah
? You�re my best friends in the entire world! ?